Miroku Madness
by passion assassin
Summary: Miroku is going around the village womanizing and touching any female he can get his hands on, old and young. the group must restrain Sango from beating the sht out of Miroku. sorry about spelling, i know that 'hentai' means 'pervert' Pls read and review
1. Seven hundred, thirtyfour times

Chapter One 

Seven hundred, thirty fourth time

My second fanfic, so please enjoy!

Sango's P.O.V.

"Oh my fuckin' _kami_!" I screamed. "It's the 734th time this month, dammit!!" Miroku starts towards me.

"I'm sorry, Sango." He said. "I love you, and only you, but..."

"But what?" I demanded testily. I was getting impatient, and if I didn't get a good excuse soon, he was going to get beaten to death.

"Oh, never mind. Don't worry about what I have said and done in the past. Just know that you are my only love."

His voice was sincere, as far as I could tell. I was his only love? I did have feelings for him before. Do I really want to be with this cute little womanizing freak? I began to relax and loosen up a bit.

A _bit_, I said_. I wasn't ready to let down my guard. I knew better than to do that. If he knew that I liked him that much, then he, and many others, can take advantage of my exposed weakness. NO. I would make him beg for me. He would stop touching all other women. Even my friends like kagome. He should risk his life for me on a daily basis, and no one else. He-_

Miroku put his arms on my shoulders. Relenting, I decided to lean into his embrace. _He can actually be a great guy when he loses his lecherous mind and stops being a perv-_

HENTAI!! SMACK 

(He stuck his lecherous hands into Sango's kimono…)

Kagome's P.O.V. from beginning

_Oh geez! 734 times! I can't believe his_ nerve!! _Oh, poor Sango. If it were me, I don't think I could've made it couting past 200, let alone 734..._

"Sango, have you noticed that Miroku has been acting strangely for the last few weeks?"

"Feh," came a voice from the door.

I turned.

"InuYasha!" I rushed to the door. "Do you know something about why Miroku has been acting so weird lately?"

"Baka-"

"_Sit."_

InuYasha crashed down to the floor as I activated his cursed necklace. (sorry, I don't remember what the necklace of beads are called...) He nearly cracked the hut belonging to the village we were resting at.

"So anyways, before you insulted me, what were you going to say, InuYasha?" I asked.

"Feh."

InuYasha picked himself off of the floor, then dusted his kimono off. "What makes you think I'll tell you after you just sat me?" He demanded.

"Look, InuYasha," I sighed. "I'm sorry, but I'm in a bad mood, and can't put up your rudeness."

"No," InuYasha glared.

"InuYasha, I have to know. Either you accept my apology, or I'll be forced to S-I-T you until you do."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Oh, would you like to try me, InuYasha?" I challenged.

---------------------------

Sorry if you think this is short. I don't really know what I'm going to write yet, so please review if you have any ideas or suggestions for the story. Thanks. Oh, and for those of you people out there who don't like swearing, please understand that when someone like Sango gets mad, they swear. 'kay?

Sesshylover

(sesshy's lover)

Vocabulary Section ---------- 

(in case you need it)

Kami-god

Hentai- something along the lines of "oh my gosh"

Feh- a rather meaningless retort and comment that belongs specifically to InuYasha, but sounds cool anyway.

Baka-stupid/idiot


	2. The Punishment begins

Previous Chapter 

Miroku flirts with every female in the village the friends are staying at-old and young. Sango knocks him out with her boomerang bone.

**Sesshy's ONLY Lover (Me) - Don't worry, because this is only temporary punishment. Hehehe.**

**Miroku-noooo! screams in terror I swear not to be a lecher any more!!**

**Sesshy's ONLY Lover (Me) - snorts as if. **

**Miroku- begs on knees**

**Sango- please don't**

**Sesshy's ONLY Lover (Me)-do not worry, Sango. I'm on your side. I don't trust him either. Now... for the hentai's punishment...**

**Miroku- but I am so innocent!**

**InuYasha- feh. You're all just a bunch of losers**

**Sesshy's ONLY Lover (Me) – mutters a bunch of weird words**

**Inuyasha- crashes to the ground like a powerful sit what was that for?!**

**Sesshy's ONLY Lover (Me) – for inaccurately insulting myself and the others. Can you not see that you are the only one kissing the dirt?**

**Inuyasha- how the hell did you do that?! I'm sure it wasn't a subjugation spell!**

**Sesshy's ONLY Lover (Me) – of course not-why would I bother wasting my time doing that?! All I have to do is utter an incantation or anything else I feel like doing.**

**Inuyasha- what do ya mean by that?! I don't belong to you, and you can't make me do whatever ya want.**

**Sesshy's ONLY Lover (Me) – On the contrary, Inuyasha, I can make you do whatever I want. I do not own you, yet you will be 'sat' for being bad. Now shut up.**

**Miroku- please bear my children? Then take away my punishment?**

**Sesshy's ONLY Lover (Me) - SHUT UP!! WE'RE WASTING THE READER'S TIME!**

**Miroku- okay whimpers **

**(A/N)**

**Sesshy's ONLY Lover (Me) - InuYasha knows what's going on, but purposely won't tell because Kagome's trying to threaten it out of him. He's in love with her, but what's the point in showing a weakness, right? ** **Should Kagome be more seductive?**

**Readers- YES, YES, YES!!!**

**Sesshy's Lover (Me) - are you sure?**

**Readers- … (must answer in review)**

**Sesshy's ONLY Lover (Me)- should InuYasha be sat afterwards because he only told what's wrong with Miroku do to the seductiveness?**

**Readers- YES, YES, YES!!!**

**Sesshy's Lover (Me)-how many times?**

**Readers- … (must answer in review)**

** (end A/N) **

ANYWAYS!! On with the fic!

Chapter 2- The Punishment begins

While Kagome tries to choke information out of InuYasha, Sango busies herself with Miroku.

First, she takes off their clothing. ALL OF IT. Then...

**(A/N)**

**Sesshy's Lover (Me)- JUST KIDDING!!**

**Readers- aw…**

**Sesshy's Lover (Me)- if ya want it, then tell me in a review. 'kay?**

** (end A/N) **

Sango had grabbed the largest rope she could find. She estimated it to be about 170 feet. (A/N Kagome had taught the group American measurements. Just pretend that's what they use in Tokyo, okay?)

Then, Sango skimmed the forest for a good, strong vine. She tore it off at approximately seven feet. Sango then proceeded to wrap it around Miroku's right arm and hand. (A/N is that the hand with the wind-tunnel? I think so...right?? Oh, ya-for those of you who don't know, that's so Miroku can't suck his bindings in and untie himself. Wouldn't' want that, now would we??)

With painstaking care, she bound Miroku to a pole as tightly as possible. Sango had specifically requested a room with a large stone pole in the center. There was no way Miroku could cut it. Oh, she'd expected him to do this and had been awaiting the chance to have an excuse. Hm…interesting experience…

(Meanwhile)

(Outside)

InuYasha's P.O.V.

"Don't you _dare_ try to sit me, or I'll _never_ tell!" I yelled. "Kikyo _never_ caused me this kind of pain! She never wanted to! There's your reason why I go to her whenever she's around! _And_ I have to take your moodiness afterwards! Compare yourself and see who is better!"

"Oh, is that so? Okay, let's see." Kagome glared at me. "I've saved your _ungrateful ass _countless times when you were human, during the moonless night. When you are wounded, I spend an entire day bandaging and treating it, I don't leave your side until you're fully healed! I cook you Raman and food almost every day. I wonder what happens when you let go of Tessaiga. What happens? Huh? Remember Kaguya? You don't remember what happened? Well I'll remind you. You turn into a full demon like you've always wanted to. Your fuckin' sharp claws poke into my skin! I lose a whole bunch of fuckin' blood, but I don't even _start_ thinking about it! Ya wanna know what the only thing I was thinking was? I only wanted you to be okay. Giving up my life would have been worth it. You promised never to hurt me. I trusted you. With my emotions, with my feelings, with my life. What would've happened if I died for you that day? I would go to heaven, and then watch you suffer for maybe a week. _Then_ what happens after that? I watch you go to Kikyo, since, as you say, she is _SO_ much better than me! And she 'never causes you that kind of pain'. And then I get to watch you get willingly dragged down to hell with her! My sacrifice for you would've been for nothing! Because you would throw away your life, and my sacrifice, for a _dead woman_! Even though all of that is true, did I ever blame you? Huh? Even once?"

By now, my heart weighed down so much, I had to sit down. I wondered if that was how she wanted me to feel. I hoped hard that the conversation/lecture was over, but...no.

"What has _Kikyo_ ever done for you? It's because of me that you're not pinned to a tree that you would stay on until your body disintegrates."

Her words broke me out of my please-let-this-end-right-now thoughts. As the impact of the words started to sink in, more came flying at me.

"Who pulled the Tetsaiga from its resting place? Who handed it to you? Who played the largest role in bringing out its true power? What or who is the reason you are in control of its power?"

Dead Silence.

Kagome's P.O.V.

five minutes later

I thought about what I should say next. I didn't exactly want him to fall apart in guilt, but he did deserve a taste of the pain and bitterness that I was lost in so much of the time. This made me open my big mouth in front of my friends in the modern era and start ranting off.

"Inuyasha, I know that it is Naraku's fault that you and Kikyo turned against each other...but think about it! I mean, if you and Kikyo were that close, would Naraku really be able to come in between? The incomplete trust between the two of you was what broke you apart. If your bond with Kikyo was that strong, not even the Shikon No Tama could've broken your relationship. Heck, Modoriko might've even been able to kill the demon in the jewel! Think about it." I paused to take in a deep breath of air. Lectures like this took a lot of breath and brainpower. Anything else missing? Oh, yes. "I'll hold off the Miroku deal until tonight. Can't have him think I forgot about the information I needed, right?

Kagome P.O.V. end

Later that night

in the hut

Miroku still unconscious

"So, Inuyasha," began Kagome.

"Would you please tell us what happened to Miroku?" Sango finished her sentence.

"Well if ya wanna find out, ya gotta start off by concentrating on his aura." Inuyasha started on his second bowl of Raman.

five minutes later

"I need more Raman," announced Inuyasha.

Kagome opened her eyes. Staring at him, she slowly began..."Is he possessed?"

"Kinda. He's been cursed by a parasite demon that's feeding on his impure thoughts and actions."

Kagome and Sango both gulped mentally. They knew from personal experience that Miroku was _plagued_ with lecherous thoughts and perverted actions.

"Well?"

Kagome was interrupted from her thoughts. "Well what?"

This time, it was Inuyasha's turn to back down, and he realized it. "…"

"Inuyasha…" Oh, no. It was that voice! The one which was really sweet, yet everyone knew there would be another thing coming. A subjugation command. Uh-oh.

Inuyasha decided that it was the right time to be 'cute' as Kagome called it. He didn't really like that word. Kagome used it to describe dogs, but he was an Inu! He was a dog demon, and that was D-I-F-F-E-R-E-N-T!!! Ah, well. It was his body in peril, so he could be Kagome's little puppy-dog for a few hours.

Inuyasha got into puppy-squat. He nudged her knee with his nose and left cheek. "Please?" he begged her. "Want more Raman!" Inuyasha pouted slightly, but was sure to keep it very slight. No use in humiliating himself in front of Sango more than he already had. He turned his head to give her a leave-the-room glare. Sango smirked slightly before doing so… Heh-heh-heh. Oh, what wonderful blackmail.

Kagome's P.O.V.

_Sooo cute!! Awwww! Wait a sec! I can't fall for this again! Yes I can. But should I? That's what he did last time._

She decided to test his patience. Reaching out, she played with the _adorable_ fuzzy ears that adorned his head. He practically purred. Not really, considering the fact that he's an Inu. _More like a puppy showing affection, or feeling like it's in heaven. Not like that, though. Oh, what the hell?!_

Kagome stopped trying to find words to describe Inuyasha's… noises. She concentrated on keeping him in paradise, then proceeded to run her fingers through the soft, voluminous silver hair. Too much for Inuyasha to take.

He lay down, not moving himself too much. He would surely die if she didn't continue! Inuyasha put his head into Kagome's kneeling lap. Closing his eyes in contentment, he gently grazed his cheek against her bare skin, moving slightly up and down. Fingers continued to comb through his hair, twisting once in a while and winding through the silver strands.

_Ohh, this is so nice. Being with Inuyasha like this… _ Kagome thought to herself as she played with the adorable ears, hair, and soon stroking his neck-slightly. She'd have to use immense self-control later not to glue her fingers to her nose later, seeing as they were now drenched in Inuyasha's scent. She wasn't a demon, but the scent was so strong!

Kagome's P.O.V.

I was so happy. "Inuyasha," I leaned down to his ears. Too bad I couldn't fool him. Inuyasha immediately snapped out of his trance, sensing my slight discomfort. He picked me up sideways, and in a few bounding leaps, we were in the high branches of a tree, him leaning against the trunk with his legs out on the thick branch, me in a similar position in his lap.

"Inuyasha?" Kagome twisted her neck around in an attempt to look at him.

"Don't stretch your neck like that," Inuyasha scolded gently.

Kagome twisted almost all of her body around to face him. "Make me," she mumbled into his shoulder. Inuyasha gave a little smile. What fun. Well, she asked for it. He leaned forward, then quickly grazed his fangs along the length of her exposed neck, following immediately with his puppy tongue.

"EEK!!" Kagome shrieked.

Kagome's P.O.V.

_Oh my gooooooooooooooooooooooooosh!!! _I almost fell out of the tree! And, of course, Inuyasha just _had_ to choose the highest tree of all. It was freakin' 75 feet! I shrieked as possible. There was nothing else to do to punish Inuyasha. And let out all of my shock and surprise all at once. Without sitting him into a 170-foot ditch while his arms were still wrapped around her waist, anyway.

Meanwhile

in Sango's room

Sango forced the unmoving rope a little apart to reveal the lowest part of the monk's stomach, though it was still covered by purple and black fabric. _Hehehe. Oh what fun this is going to be...like I'm going to put up with this. The stupid hentai is going to learn the meaning of pain and the definition of loyalty._ Sango dressed in her kimono today, but didn't wear battle attire under it. Not like she couldn't fight without it though, right? In addition to that, they weren't searching for jewel shards. Naraku had just been torn apart by her boomerang, and was most likely trying to figure out what had happened.

Sango's P.O.V.

It was more than I could have ever hoped for. The breaking of Hiraikotsu had been a blessing in disguise. The poison infused into it had been able to stop Naraku's regeneration. This already ensured at least a month of peace. _But what of Kohaku? Though he is with Lord Sesshoumaru, that doesn't always ensure safety! He'd almost beheaded himself! _Sango felt tears beginning to form. _Ah well, better pay attention to the situation at hand. _She carefully picked up her weapon. A small smirking smile tugged at the corners of her mouth as amusement danced in her eyes. If Miroku had regained consciousness just then, he would have screamed in terror to the heavens!

-End of Chapter-

You _cannot_ say that the chapter was too short. It took up 12½ notebook pages, not to mention the fact that I coordinated that with the ideas I wrote up onto a laptop. I didn't have too many reviews, so I'd appreciate it if you would write one. I hoped you enjoyed the second chapter of my second story. Remember to Review.

Sesshy's ONLY Lover


	3. Ice and Passion

Sango gathered several large chunks of ice from an underground river. Tying them in a piece of cloth, she returned to the room she had Miroku in. If he was possessed by an impure parasite, purifying it was a good first step. Impure thoughts connected to the body and sent heat waves. Cold, frozen water should counteract it. Sango twisted the cloth, still containing the ice, lengthwise and tied it around the unroped part of the monk. She counted 30 seconds before he screamed himself awake. "AHHH!!! COLD!!!!!!!!!!"

Sango coughed away her laugh as he looked up at her. "Sango my love, you cannot do this to me!" Crossing her arms, she raised her eyebrows and made a face of disbelief.

"What did you just say, Miroku? First of all, I am far from your love as far as you have shown me. Second of all, since I clearly am doing 'this' to you, why can't I? You have had this going at you for a long time, monk. I just didn't figure out how to do it. I'm telling you right now- you have a parasite curse. A very small demon is feeding on your every impure thought and gaining power while making you do even more."

Here, Miroku gulped. He knew well how many naughty things were in his brain, and a third person truly opening the door between mind and action was very bad indeed. He did once have a small amount of self control. "Are you certain, Lady Sango? I would hate to think that I am enduring your…odd display of affection for me because of a misunderstanding." Sango rolled her eyes at the ridiculous speech.

"It is very simple if you would like proof. Watch this, hentai." She reached back and tugged on the large ribbon that held her outer kimono in place. Ofcourse, the first thought that came to the monk's mind was that she was stripping for him. The ice around his waist began to melt noticeably. "SEE! LOOK!" Sango retied her sash and pointed at it. "Your entire abdomen heats up! This PROVES that you have horrible thoughts. And the fact that it is so noticeable is proof that it is involuntary!" Miroku sighed.

Sorry I haven't updated for a while. Please review with tips, comments, and suggestions.

~passion assassin


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